Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
