Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
BRING THE BAGELS
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
