I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
