Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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