so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
