I puked a lego.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I didn't notice because vodka
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
