I want to stick my p in your. b.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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