Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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