But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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