is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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