the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
then he tried to convert me to islam
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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