But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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