Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
