You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
