He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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