I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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