cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize