I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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