I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize