We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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