I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
