I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
