We won't sleep together?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
