The best revenge is premature balding
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
