so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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