I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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