Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
