She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Randomize