So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize