i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
