I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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