You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Small penises have feelings too.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
