just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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