Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
