i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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