i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
