left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
