any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
