Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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