Define "chronic" masturbator.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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