fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
