Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
