My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
