I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize