I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
