You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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