he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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