either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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