with your own penis?
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
