doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
