You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
im on a boat
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