i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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