and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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