"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
