yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
