My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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