Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
