This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
