He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There's always time for handjobs
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize