dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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