Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
